


a fool for another day

by blazeofglory



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 15:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6760348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazeofglory/pseuds/blazeofglory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bitty thinks he knows what he’s getting into. </p>
<p>(He doesn't.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	a fool for another day

**Author's Note:**

> bringing some terrible angst to my newest fandom. sorry, dudes. title from the song "barely breathing."

It seems easy enough in theory; Bitty thinks he knows what he’s getting into. He thinks they’ll miss each other, but they’ll be okay. He thinks they’ll find enough time for each other every day. Maybe he doesn’t exactly think it will be _easy_ , but he doesn’t expect it to be so damn hard.  

Over time, though, the nightly Skype calls become every-other-day Skype calls. Then they become once-a-week Skype calls.

Jack texts him _good morning_ and _goodnight_ every day, but he takes hours to respond to any of Bitty’s messages in between.

Bitty knows that Jack is busy; he _understands._ He doesn’t get angry when Jack doesn’t have the time to call him, or when Jack is too tired to stay up talking. He doesn’t let himself resent Jack when their weekend plans get cancelled three weeks in a row.

Bitty knows that Jack loves him.

He didn’t count on the insecurities. He didn’t think he would spend long nights awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering if Jack was meeting someone new. Or wondering if Jack was missing him. Wondering if Jack was even thinking about him at all.

In retrospect, Bitty thinks it might’ve worked if he could’ve told someone. Maybe if he’d been able to tell Lardo why we was so upset, or even why he was so _happy_ sometimes, instead of making up lies that just ended up pushing her away—maybe if he’d had someone that understood, and he _knows_ she would have, it would’ve been okay. Lardo could have told him that Jack still loved him.

But, then, Jack could’ve told him that too.

He doesn’t blame Jack. Even now. Even sobbing into a bottle of wine, alone in a haus usually full of people, with a burnt pie in the trash. Even now, he doesn’t blame Jack. He’s not sure if he blames himself, or just—just the fucking situation. Does it even matter?

And the thing is—being without Jack is easier.

Bitty still misses him and still loves him, and he has a sinking feeling that he will _always_ miss Jack and love Jack.

But it’s easier, not waiting for texts that might never come. It’s easier, making weekend plans that he knows won’t fall through. It’s easier, not spending every second of every day wondering if he’s good enough for anybody.

It’s easier, it really is, but sometimes his breath catches and his eyes sting and he misses Jack like he misses a part of his soul and it’s _so hard to breathe_.

 

Breath comes eventually. Bitty manages because he has no other choice.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a feeling the tenses in this fic are super fucked up and it makes no sense, but??? I'm sad. and I'm tired. so I'm just gonna post this anyway. please send some love my way.


End file.
